He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
