Already got asked if we're dating
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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