Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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