totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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