She said her name was "party"
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
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