Me too!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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