sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
did i walk over a car last night?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize