Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
