My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
did you just send me my own nude
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
