whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We have started to decorate penises.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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