i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
