the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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