Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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