I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
