hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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