420 ftw
It's Friday. Sex?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
