she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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