I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We need to get me chipped asap
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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