U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
