Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
