It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
