You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Buhtt sex?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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