Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
