Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
