theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I need water and some morals
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize