I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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