I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
