Did you just see the Batmobile???
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
