that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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