yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
