Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
