My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
