I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
