I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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