Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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