i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
