Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
