He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
