pop tarts are not kleenex
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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