you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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