remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
