her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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