my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize