Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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