im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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