I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
