1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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