Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
