it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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