so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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