Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
