She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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