Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
