Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
