So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
