thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
