I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
