Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
