she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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