i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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