I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize