friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
