Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
