It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
