how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
